A Day Out Without The Kids

It was my birthday last week and in comparison to birthdays of recent years it didn’t feel like a birthday. It felt like a normal day, involving a trip to visit my mum, who kindly made a cake that we didn’t even get to eat. Why didn’t we get to eat it? Because Mr Firstooth thought ‘when’s best to book our daughters injections?’ ponders ‘Ah! Your birthday!’. It didn’t quite happen like that, but it put an instant downer on the day, dreading the event to follow in the afternoon.

The babys injections went incredibly well, much less traumatic than our sons last year. Tears from everyone involved that day!

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The plan for the evening was a birthday takeaway, again, nothing out of the norm here, it’s a Friday and that means a takeaway of some sort to round off the week. I don’t mind so much that birthdays are pretty dull in comparison to the years we could go out and celebrate, get drunk and roll in at an unsightly hour (an hour we see now for child related reasons). It’s a gift that I have two wonderful children and really, I could pop here and there with them, even if it takes 3 hours and a lot of willpower to actually leave the house. What I do mind is that, on my birthday, both children decided to be as difficult as possible, all evening and throughout the shitting night.

The plan was to ditch the kids with my in-laws for the day on Saturday and spend a day romantically walking into town, hand in hand, eating a meal with actual adult conversation, without shovelling our plates of food in, whilst simultaneously juggling children who JUST WON’T SIT STILL.

But…

Because that Friday night both children decided to stay awake until 4am. I felt less than festive. In fact, I felt rather fucking angry.

I felt angry that whenever we seem to make plans, exciting ones that involve something adult like, at least one child will refuse to sleep all night (and behave unreasonably because of it), it’s no bother to them due to the comfortable naps they are able to have, not at the same time though, obviously. The thought of trapesing around town, during the Christmas rush, while holding my eyelids open with matchsticks, made me want to cry. That night I declared ‘we’re not going out tomorrow’ in similar words and perhaps a little more sweary.

The morning of said ‘planned but cancelled day out’ came and Mr Firstooth got up with the children and let me lay in. Huge brownie points to him! He was still hoping for a day out. He was looking firwsrd to it. He wasn’t affected (much) by the painful night of tears. It made me feel quite depressive that the odd awful night we have, ruins the next day not just for me, but for him.

So, I applied a fistful of under-eye concealer, squeezed into my ‘lift and slim’ jeans (lol) and blow-dried my hair (yes, I even managed a shower!). The cancelled day out was now back on!

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We dropped the children at my in-laws, the toddler didn’t even know we had left but the baby cried a heartbreaking cry, which stopped the moment I was out of sight, crafty kid. Then we skipped hand in hand down the road and into town, without the bloody suitcase style nappy bag, I had a real non-mumsy shoulder bag. Remember when we used to leave with only our keys, phone and purse?

We browsed the shops, without the stroller knocking over displays and tackling the crowds. It was amazing how freeing it felt to spend a day as a couple. I love our family days out, but there’s no sugar coating the stress and the immense forward planning that comes with them. We had no stress or worry to carry around with us.

I won’t bore you with every lovely little detail but I will share two parts of the day we enjoyed, which usually we wouldn’t even attempt if children were present.

  1. I tried clothes on. I don’t mean a couple of bits here and there, I mean rackfuls of the stuff! I appreciate the purpose of trying things on now, some things do look better on the hanger, lucky bastard hanger. I actually walked out of the shop with a few new outfits, instead of sweating and dumping a pile of clothes on a shelf, before storming out to calm a bored baby.

I couldn’t walk past the children’s section of the shops without rooting through, I’ve been programmed to do this.

  1. We enjoyed a THREE COURSE BLOODY MEAL for over TWO WHOLE BLOODY HOURS. We laughed a lot and talked a lot more, our attention was solely on eachother and we’ve so needed this for such a long time. We reconnected, it was pretty special.

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I thoroughly enjoyed our day free of the children, with birthday shopping and a delicious, long and dare I say romantic meal. The children enjoyed a day being spoilt by their grandparents. It’s made us realise how important days like this are for us as a couple and we’ve now vowed to do this once a month, maybe it was the wine talking, but I hope we stick to our promise and have another date next month.

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22 Comments

  1. December 6, 2015 / 9:52 am

    If the grandparents agree then you must do it again, so good for you and the children and hopefully the grandparents too! #SundayStars

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:52 pm

      I think we all came out on top! We’ve already planned our next date – this time my parents are on babysitting duty! X

  2. December 6, 2015 / 10:39 am

    I can totally identify with the whenever you have plans the children seem to be up all night and you’re exhausted happens here too. It looks like you had fab day – my husband and I have a Christmas shopping day next Friday and I’m so excited – definitely having a 3 course lunch ๐Ÿ™‚ #kcacols

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:54 pm

      Whenever we have no plans, they tend to sleep well, it’s a very frustrating coincidence! I hope you have a fabulous day, I will be envious of your child-break and leisurely lunch xx

  3. December 6, 2015 / 11:04 am

    I can totally relate when you have plans, kids always play up, aren’t they? It’s good that you still went out and enjoyed the day baby free. I miss those times as we don’t have much family here to leave the kids with if we want sometime ourselves alone. Lovely post! #KCACOLS

  4. December 6, 2015 / 2:14 pm

    You are soon right. Couple time is so important. I just need to listen to my own advice. Me and the hubby haven’t had a date night since our anniversary in August. We’re going to see Dynamo in a few weeks so will go for a meal before and make a night of it. I’m really looking forward to it. Your pudding looked amazing!!!! Glad you had a good time and hears to many more! ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx #KCACOLS

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:56 pm

      I find leaving the kids hard, even though they push my buttons an intolerable amount! But once we were out it was so much fun. I hope you have a fabulous date too!! X

  5. December 6, 2015 / 4:24 pm

    I think days like this are pretty crucial. Its easy to get so caught up in our kids lives that we forget to have our own

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:58 pm

      We need to use the grandparents a little more often, they enjoy the time with the children just as much as we do without them. It’s made such a difference to our moods

  6. December 6, 2015 / 9:21 pm

    Oh it sounds wonderful, three whole hours for lunch is amazing. You definitely need days like this, time to reconnect and be yourslelves, I bey you are so glad you went. Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:59 pm

      So do glad!! Thanks for hosting x

  7. December 7, 2015 / 9:19 am

    Good for you for pulling through the tiredness and making yourself go out regardless of the sleepless night! It can be so easy to bail but if we always do that whenever we’re tired we would never do anything. Me and the hubby are definitely in need of a day like this – I can’t remember the last time we had a lovely stress-free meal out. #Marvmondays xx

  8. December 7, 2015 / 11:26 am

    It sounds like you had a cracking night. The food looks delicious. Ahhh a lie in, I’m so jealous! So happy you had a wonderful time #KCACOLS

  9. December 7, 2015 / 1:34 pm

    Oh I’m SO with you on needing to have that adult time on your own as a couple to reconnect. We aren’t organised enough to have date night once a month but it is really lovely when we do manage to sneak out for a meal or cinema trip. Glad you got the chance to relax and unwind. (And a huge YES to the new outfits!) Thanks for linking up at #sharethejoy and hope to see you again x

  10. December 7, 2015 / 3:59 pm

    Oh this sounds like a lovely day. You’re right, its so important to make time for each other. Thanks for linking up to #FridayPhonedump

  11. Mommy's Little Princesses
    December 8, 2015 / 10:09 am

    I’m so glad to see that your kiddie free day actually went a head and whats more that you really enjoyed it! Here’s to many more wonderful date nights/days out.xx #KCACOLS

  12. December 8, 2015 / 9:33 pm

    That chocolate brownie and ice cream looks epic! How delicious! #lovelythings

  13. December 10, 2015 / 9:11 pm

    I have already commented and I just wanted to pop back and thank you for linking up to #lovelythings

  14. December 11, 2015 / 10:27 pm

    Happy Birthday!! I’m glad to hear that you managed at the end to have a great time out with your hubby and with no children!! Yaaay!! I understand the feeling of being out with no children! It is amazing!! I had my first night out with no children a couple of days ago and it was such a feeling of freedom again. It is so important to have some time alone with your husband and reconnect You also recharge your batteries and you are even happier to see your children again after that!! lol Great that you managed to try and buy some clothes for you. I also need that!! That dessert looks so good!!! Thanks so much for sharing this lovely post at #KCACOLS. I’m so happy to have you again this week, ๐Ÿ™‚ xx
    PS: I was trying to find my badge but I couldn’t find it! ๐Ÿ™

  15. December 12, 2015 / 10:17 pm

    Hi Lizzie, happy birthday!! I’m so glad your planned, cancelled day ended up back on and went so fabulously! It sounds like the absolute perfect day off and birthday day out. I was horrified at the start when it sounded like your plans were going to be railroaded, so I was almost clapping by the time your plans were back on. Its my birthday next week so im really hoping for a similar day, sans toddler. We have childcare arranged so just need to figure out what we’re doing, im hoping for a show and dinner in town so fingers crossed! Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays ๐Ÿ™‚ Emily

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