Does The First Born Always Bagsy The Bigger Bedroom?

We’re facing a dilemma as parents between fairness and practicality. Between room size and child age. In many parents opinion, it’s the first born that inherits the larger room from the off. The second is then to not only have the hand-me-down clothes and toys, but also the smaller room. The room which in our case, is more like a cupboard. You can fit a single bed, a chest of drawers and a child if you’re lucky. I do realise we bought our home knowing full-well that the third bedroom is extremely small, but it was home as soon as we stepped through the door and elsewhere in our home I think we can safely say it’s pretty roomy. So it wasn’t a deal breaker.

So, the bedroom dilemma boils down to the fact that our first born is a boy and our second is a girl. In my personal experience, girls have a lot of clothes, clothes which require a wardrobe. Don’t you dare risk a crinkle in that dress by folding it! Boys tend to have foldable clothes, jeans, tops and the odd set of dungarees. Our daughters current room will only fit a chest of drawers (which we don’t even have yet) all of her clothes are currently hanging in our sons room and we have pinched one of his drawers for her too. Our sons room is bloody massive for a childs room, I could only have dreamed of such a luxury when I was growing up! It’s a double room along with plenty of space for the extra drawers and wardrobes we may need as they get older (and hopefully they get a paper-round to pay for all these clothes).

Mr Firstooths Argument For The Room Swap

  • If Child 2 doesn’t have the bigger room, we will have to move again in their teen years. All for the sake of a wardrobe. (We both agree moving house is one of the shittest things to do when you have children)
  • When he was growing up he spent most of his time with his family (he had the smaller room) and hardly any time in his room, it didn’t bother him whatsoever that his room was the smallest. As I was growing up I spent most of my time in my room, I like my space.
  • All the things boys will want to play with like game stations etc, will all be downstairs.
  • We can acquire another television for downstairs if ever there were problems over what we were watching. But we have a laptop, that’s good enough.
  • He gets a cabin bed.

My Argument Against The Room Swap

  • He may feel like second best if he compares similar situations with his friends (once he’s older), who’s first born all has a roomy room.
  • Once he’s old enough to communicate properly, he still won’t understand. From the view of a child, it’s all not fair.
  • It’s inevitable we will move at some point (but please god not in the next ten years, unless we win the lottery and it’s to a mansion) so why not keep things as they are and keep that in mind for the next home, where they will be old enough to contribute to any decision. (I don’t want to move, I would stay here forever)
  • It’s the ‘done thing’ I can imagine friends and family not fully understanding the decision to switch either and perhaps even think we have a favourite. (favouritism is determined by behaviour that day and is rewarded with toys, biscuits and TV. Not a bedroom)
  • She gets a cabin bed.

PhotoGrid_1438282279365

My argument is pretty weak apart from not wanting Child 1 to feel upset (in the long run) if we made the decision to switch. I’d love to hear your thoughts, for either argument so a solid decision can be made before we pick up a paintbrush!

 

The List
Modern Dad Pages
Share this post:

7 Comments

  1. July 31, 2015 / 2:23 am

    They could share the bigger room for a bit and use the smaller one as a play room? Being the only girl out of 3 i usually had the smaller room for the sake of having my own room and my brothers; 1 older, 1 younger, had the bigger room because they shared. My little brother didn’t get his own room until my older brother moved out and it was still the biggest because i wanted the bigger closet and the huge bay window. In my opinion your husband is right though, at least from the way my brothers acted. They don’t care about space. If the game system was in the living room they spent all their time in the living room. If the room was to small to have a bunch of friends over for the night they camped out in the living room. Girls care about different things when they’re older than boys do. Boys just need a bed and a backyard/game system.

    • July 31, 2015 / 10:50 am

      Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I think you’re right! He will *fingers crossed* be happy in the smaller room. They couldn’t share as our youngest is a night screamer and since the eldest has only just started sleeping through I wouldn’t want to break his sleep. I think a long discussion and perhaps some furniture moving is in order this weekend!

      • July 31, 2015 / 11:35 am

        You can do it! Just make it fun for the bigger. Make it an amazing adventure and if he’s old enough include him in decorating and arranging.

  2. July 31, 2015 / 2:04 pm

    Good luck! Just stay positive and it will be a positive transition! 😀

  3. July 31, 2015 / 6:53 pm

    Im going to add, because i just actually looked/paid attention tot he picture, both rooms look super sweet. I don’t know if you have them cleared out in preparation for the switch or if y’all are just that minimalistic but i love the white furniture and neutral blind colors. They look so clean and crisp.

    • July 31, 2015 / 6:58 pm

      Thank you! That’s really kind of you to say 🙂 we’re very basic at the moment all white everything. I like a clean canvas 🙂

  4. Have a mid sleeper in the smaller room & use the slats underneath to hang girls clothes.. theres 68 cm clearance under my 3 year olds bed, plenty of room for a couple of small drawers (like bed side table type ones) and I can also hang her clothes under there too! and its got a tent bit around it so its all hidden away! Although it does mean she can reach the clothes, but thats not a problem as both 2&3 year old choose their own clothes and dress themselves.

    boys also have things like scalextrics (no idea how thats spelt!!) which take up LOADS of floor space! we used to get s fed up of my brothers cars/garages/ tracks taking over the rest of the house becaue his room was so small. My partners son has castles and forts etc set up too which we usually have to find space for when he comes over.

    mid sleepers are okay for younger ones, theres only 3 steps upto the bed which we have which is fine for both the 2&3 year olds (we have glued non slip mats on the rungs of the ‘ladder’ though as the girls did slip a few times, but as its not too high there was no damage done)

    I never spent any time in my room as a kid and I had the biggest room, whereas my younger sister and brother both spent all day in their rooms. I was never a child into indevidual playing I liked to be around people. Ill try get some pictures once the rooms been tidyed 😉

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *