This afternoon saw the kiddies and I kicking our heels. Mr Firstooth was also with us because he’s been working a night contract, he’s had the joy of us throughout the day. The lucky devil. Our littlest woke us from her nap incredibly unhappy, so to save hours of whingeing at home we thought it’d be a lovely idea to pack up the kids and head to the beach for a little stroll.
It would have been a lovely idea if everything that happened after that decision didn’t make us gradually give up on life.
The beach is usually a safe bet for our family. After the usual battle to apply suncream, it’s always plain sailing from there. Except this time, although it wasn’t really our kiddies making things difficult or being grumpy because the beach is ‘too beachy’, it was a series of unfortunate events.
Starting with a less than smart young man, driving too fast, dangerously overtaking and causing an accident. Leaving the main road to all of our nearby beaches being closed. When we saw that the road was closed, we could have easily swung the car back round towards home, or a nearby field for the kiddies to run around in. Instead we carried on driving towards another beach, it’s actually our favourite one but it’s another twenty minutes along the road.
Our son started his car seat jiggle which meant he needed a wee. It was actually his ‘I’m bored’ wiggle, because magically he didn’t pee the entire four and a half hours we were out. He makes us stop the car for fun.
As we drove along our beach option number two, there were no spaces. Not just no spaces in the teeny beach-side car parks, but everyone had abandoned their cars along the road. Leaving us and a few other cars fighting for rights to the road against a bus. Things like this make my stress levels rise rapidly, especially when I have Mr F next to me groaning ‘you can fit, just go’, he’s the definition of ‘backseat driver’, sometimes it makes me want to punch him in the leg.
I carried on driving to a section of the beach which is usually deserted, except for today. Nowhere to ditch our car and no beach to visit. More driving, for another twenty minutes to the beach we were originally heading to. But approaching it from a completely different direction, so we missed the road with the car accident.
We spent a lovely forty five minutes at the beach. I laid on the pebbles catching the last few rays of sun, while the kiddies and their dad threw pebbles into the sea. It was already really late so I went completely crazy and suggested we pop into the golden arches of Mcdonalds on the way home, for a treat and also because we’ve already missed their usual dinner time, we needed food, fast.
We left the beach along our usual route, which of course was still closed. Meaning we had nearly an hours detour ahead of us. There’d be no golden arches for us because our children were salivating in the back ready to eat. We settled on a sandwich from a nearby store instead. We bypassed the first supermarket because we couldn’t find the entrance, the second was easy to find but had no parking, our daughter was now having an extreme meltdown in the back. The third supermarket was easy to find, had parking but the lengthy distance we travelled there left my littlest in a completely distressed state. She was hungry.
I held and cuddled her in the car while Mr F ran in the shop with our boy, because our boy had to go too, then returned with a sandwich, Monster Munch (what?) and a bottle of water. The sandwiches left us with a few minutes peace before our girl started demanding the bottle of water. A bottle which was nearly as big as her, but she was determined she could and would drink from it. A minute or so later her and her carseat were completely sodden with water, which also had tiny pieces of tuna sandwich floating in it.
A minute or so after our daughters soaking, we hit traffic. Traffic that had no intention of moving anytime soon.
A minute or so after we’d been sat in traffic our son had a crisp stuck in his tooth. He then moaned because he wanted his toothbrush. I must remember to pack their toothbrushes next time because it wasn’t long before our daughter joined in and grizzled because she wanted to brush her teeth. We must remember to prepare for every eventuality as parents, including spontaneous teeth brushing.
I was torn between laughing and crying at this point. The entire afternoon had been a complete shambles and we were stuck in traffic with two kids in the back moaning about a toothbrush. Mr F was undoubtedly going to be late for work and he had strong opinions about this traffic. During one of his outbursts I giggled and flashed him a smile. If looks could kill, I may have died in that car.
In an attempt to calm the kiddies down we decided to switch from the radio to their Mickey Mouse CD. Yay. This always works when they get a little frantic in the car. Except this time, my littlest screamed that she ‘hates Minnie mouse’, she hates Minnie and she wanted her rubbish music switched off. Her brother suddenly expressed how much he loved Mickey, Minnie and the whole gang and he needed the music on.
Their bedtime came and went and we were still stuck in the confinement of our car. The kids were also still very, very awake. It was a painful journey home and we still stopped off in the golden arches of Mcdonalds, but for ourselves. Once the toddler terrorists in the back noticed our brown paper bag, they suddenly perked up a little.
That was our ‘lets pop to the beach’, which went wrong at every opportunity, but sometimes we just have to roll with the punches! We Mcrolled with it.
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