By no means am I obese or extremely overweight, but I’m certainly not at a size I’m comfortable with. Over the years I’ve grown from a size 10 to a 16. The majority of my weight gain has been since having children. It’s nothing to do with my kids or the pregnancy that I’ve been growing in size, it’s more to do with our lifestyle and activity. My goal is to lose weight and live a healthy lifestyle and for running to help me get there.
Since giving up work a couple of years ago my daily exercise has plummeted. I used to walk to and from work, and walk regularly as a twosome, then as a threesome when our little boy arrived. Then all of a sudden I found that the only exercise I did was a twenty minute stroll in the evening, or the odd walk around the zoo. Sometimes the most exercise I do is a few trips up and down the stairs. I feel terrible admitting it, but sometimes we spend a day at home and the opportunity to exercise just isn’t there.
Not long after having my children I suffered quite badly with the baby blues. This meant my motivation for going out and doing anything was at its all time low. Then I discovered my love of biscuits and convenience food. It all went a little downhill from there. So it isn’t because of my children that I’ve near enough doubled in size. I now have no need to go out every day and exercise and I’ve not often had the desire to do it.
When we had our kiddies, life became about convenience. Convenient meals like spaghetti, chicken, fishfingers and all those simple dishes every week. Driving to the supermarket instead of walking, because a five minute drive is much more appealing than a forty-five minute walk. And again, it’s convenient. A simple life is what I, and most mums desire. This means I’ve not been living a healthy lifestyle. I hate to say it but we’ve been living a lazy lifestyle. By no means do we sit on our bottoms all day, but I put no effort whatsoever into exercise and this needs to change. I do put a nice amount of effort into biscuits and crisps.
This goal has been spurred on by todays playdate. We scoffed our faces with quiche, crisps and cake. It was absolutely delicious but once my friend and her children left, I looked down at my tummy and could have cried. I look pregnant. My tummy used to be my favourite part about my body and once I’d birthed both of my babies, I ended up with sagging, stretch marks and what looks like a bump – with no baby.
I’m all for body confidence and loving what we have, but there isn’t any part of my body right now I’m happy with. It’s important to be happy as happiness exudes confidence and that’s how I want to feel. Everything is a little wobbly and too big for my frame, so I’m going to say what I probably shouldn’t and that is that I want to lose weight. For vanity as well as a healthier life.
So, after I rubbed my tummy I quickly decided I want to start running. I’d talked about this with Mr F a few days ago, with no real intention to do it. But, he had today off work. There was no better time for me to grab my trainers, pop on a fresh top and hit the streets.
My worry about doing this was embarrassment. I worry about someone seeing me jogging, or even walking with fluorescent running shoes, running shorts and bottle of water. They’d notice all the parts of my body that make me cringe when I look at them. It’s a daunting feeling to exercise in public, it’s different from the gym, in the gym you’re exercising with a group of like-minded people.
So once I’d left the house I walked for a while. We’re lucky we live right on the edge of the countryside so it doesn’t take long for me to find a little lane that I can start jogging along, without anyone nearby. Then I set a target of jogging along the length of this lane and walking quickly around the rest of the block. Each time I ended up at the start of this little lane again I’d increase the distance I would jog for.
It was tough. I have been trying to exercise a few times a week doing the Cize DVD. But when I’m at home trying to exercise, I have to keep pausing the DVD and tending to my little ones. So it all seems a little pointless unless I’m doing it once they’ve gone to bed. I’ll keep going with Cize because I enjoy it, but I also want something that takes me away from distractions. Running gives me the option to exercise at my own pace and in the most beautiful spots of our village.
Running at my own pace meant I could run a little and slow it down to a jog or walk if I needed to and catch my breath. Because my body isn’t used to exercise like this, I felt out of breath quickly and had to slow it down quite often. This is ok, I’m hoping one day I’ll have trained my body to jog at a steady pace and feel comfortable in doing so.
It was so lovely to explore our little neighbourhood by myself, so much so that it didn’t feel like exercise. Well, it did when I returned to the little lane that I jogged/ran down. But it meant I could walk a little further, down the roads with no footpaths. I finally discovered the entrances into a couple of fields. I’ve wondered since we moved here a year ago how on earth you got into them, they always look so appealing to walk around as a family on a summer evening. So now I know, I’m excited for us all to go and explore.
Anyway, I digress. This post is the start of my personal goal to a healthy lifestyle and an aim to lose weight. I will check in regularly to record how many times I’ve managed to jog, personal goals I’m setting myself, how I’m finding it and any tips I’m learning. Just in case you have an interest in this too. I’m hoping to have a little run/jog a few times a week or whenever I can slip away and leave the kiddies in Mr F’s safe hands.
I may look back on this post in a year and feel embarrassed about setting a goal I wasn’t able to complete. Or I may look back in a year and think this was one of the best things I did. I’m hoping one day I’ll feel healthier and body confident. One thing I do know is that exercise and healthy eating goes hand-in-hand. With a goal to lose weight, I can’t expect results by only eating healthy or only exercising. Plus eating healthy is just as tough as running!
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