Some words that spring to mind… Infertile, alone, exhausted, odd one out..
Well girls… We’re not the odd ones out and were not alone, there are millions of us going through the same thing!
So here’s my story.
I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 21, after coming off the pill and having a lump that needed investigating and not having any periods for 12 months, for someone who didn’t know much about this as I never had to think about it! So I was referred to a specialist unit in our local hospital, I had test after test, bloods, internal ultrasounds the works.. And these were weekly!
After several medications including clomiphene , metformin and letrozole were all rendered useless for me. (These drugs help many people get pregnant and make periods return)
I was then told I would have to have an operation called Ovarian Drilling… Note- don’t watch this on YouTube if you’re having this op! Not pleasant! But I would have done anything to have a baby so I was up for it! But yet again, this is another failing for me. At this point I felt like I was broken, useless and infertile. One of the nurses kept saying I was the worst case she had seen in my age, which I would laugh along to but inside it was killing me.
The worse thing about the whole situation is it is a Taboo subject.. No one wants to talk about it, when you say you are having treatment the room goes quiet… I prefer to talk about it, I didn’t want pity looks and people apologising for asking when I would have children , it’s just the way things go.
As I was starting to give up hope 3 years down the line, during one of my appointments to tell me how badly the latest drug had worked.. Which you knew due to the lack of period.. One thing girls always wish they hadn’t got! (Girls- be thankful!! It’s a pain in the butt, it’s there for a reason! Embrace it!!) I got told that was it.. No other options except IVF- was I excited or was I heartbroken?! I just didn’t know.
Weirdly the next few weeks went by quickly and I found myself nearing the point of IVF…. Which weirdly in my head was a lengthy process and involved a lot! Well it takes about 4 weeks! A lot quicker than I thought and a lot of injecting etc!
( if you want me to do a detailed post on IVF- pop a note in the comments)
Then two weeks… Wait… Wonder… Weird! I spent two weeks laying down- I wasn’t risking a single thing! And I got my positive test at the end of those two weeks!! An amazing pregnancy and now a beauty of a 3 year old!
This was one of the hardest times of my life and so many women out there are waiting so patiently for their baby.. I feel I actually had it easy! So many people out there have waited years and can’t afford more than one round of IVF, but the day will come girls, don’t give up hope, I never thought I would have had a baby let alone my diva of a 3 year old that I have now! Any questions let me know, I hated not having an open voice to talk to as everyone shut down for fear of upsetting me! You can see more at my blog- I will also be blogging about my next IVF journey next year!
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