- A family sitting closely together, all looking into the camera. This photo makes me wonder ‘why can’t we ever have a family photo’. Why can’t we all be looking at the camera, with big loving smiles. Just once. The fact is, we have very young children who find the thought of a camera very, very dull. Why would they want to look at it. [The Reality Of The Picture] Don’t worry this family we’re wishing was ours, has a secret they don’t want their social media friends to see. They secretly paid a stranger to not only take the picture but shout ‘ROAR, I’m a dinosaur!‘ In the hopes their children will smile, maybe even laugh, or just look in that general direction.
- A selfie of a mum looking gorgeous. I occasionally take a selfie, not necessarily to put on Instagram for all to see but because sometimes, my hair isn’t a mess, my make-up is ‘on fleek’ *chuckles*, my eyes aren’t bloodshot and I’ve managed to hide those bags drooping half way down my face. Other mum selfies make me think ‘wow, how does she manage to look so perfect, while holding down a job and three children?‘ I can barely manage two. [The Reality Of The Picture] Look closer and in a reflection of a mirror or in the background, you’ll see the toddler drawing on the wall. *calls for eyes in back of head* It’s rare for selfies to go below the neckline. When you’re a mum, this is because you have a 3 day old sick stain on your cardigan, but you really don’t give a shit. You also have a stain on your top from those food jars (full of stain, not food) that you swore you would never feed your baby. You also have evidence attached to your jeans that you’ve cheated on your ‘diet’, this is in the form of chocolate, melted onto your thigh.
- A picture of your baby with a huge two-toothed grin. I love pictures of smiling babies. Babies smile with ease when it comes to photos. Toddlers are hard work. You have to be swift with your picture-taking in the hopes of catching your toddler smiling. Mums are all addicts at taking pictures of their children (dads too) we don’t want to miss a thing! A single thing. Including their first big bogey. [The Reality Of The Picture] The baby has cried for a solid hour, until you trip on that sodding cable you keep meaning to put away. Big smile *grabs camera*. Sure, she’s cried all morning, but she’s smiling now. That’s how I want everyone to think of her.
- A blurry photo which celebrates your childs ‘first steps’ [The Reality Of The Picture] Their ‘first steps’ we’re in all honesty, nearly a week ago. But by the time your camera has decided whether it wants to load, or not. They’ve fallen down. *throws phone against wall*.
- A photo of a very healthy lunch. Consisting of salad leaves, cucumber, avocado, onion and there’s normally a boiled egg thrown in there somewhere. Caption usually reads ‘going green’ or ‘delicious healthy lunch’. Whoever says something like that is ‘delicious’ has just proved they are capable of lying. [The Reality Of The Picture] This salad is either put back in the fridge and thrown away at a later date, while you eat some soup and bread. Or the salad is eaten and you feel hunger shortly after, cue fishfinger sandwich.
- A pregnancy photo to capture your bump moment, to show off how proud you are of the baby you’re growing. [The Reality Of The Picture] You’re sweating, you’re tired, your thighs are chafing and you need cereal RIGHT NOW! You may have just peed yourself too, when you sneezed. This happens, so I hear.
- Your morning cup of tea in your favourite mug. [The Reality Of The Picture] This one, for me, is to let everyone know YES, I’m not shitting you, 3h does mean three hours ago, making it 5am!
- A quick evening snap of a full glass of wine, set in front of a vase of flowers or something pretty [The Reality Of The Picture] This is not your first glass now, lets be honest. You also took this photo before 6pm, which means you broke your ‘wine after 6‘ rule. But you posted the photo at 7pm so you seem like you ‘have it together’. PS it’s also a Tuesday, you broke another rule of ‘only one glass mid-week’. But you deserve it, good for you.
The power of social media amazes me. We always see photos of happy families, loved up couples and other ‘perfect’ life moments. That’s then how we think of them. We don’t want to share those stressful and upsetting moments, just as much as we don’t want to see them. We want to share the smiles, laughs and happy times. But if you see a photo of any of the above, you know what’s really going on.
Above is an example of a toddler resisting ‘smile for the camera’