Our world is increasingly becoming beauty obsessed. From endless selfies, to airbrushed pictures of celebs. I am a little uh-bsessed with beauty, but I don’t really have time for it. The struggle to perfection is real, I think we’ve all attempted it in our life and are maybe attempting it right now. I want my daughter to know she is perfect, I don’t want her to strive to be anything other than herself, to embrace her natural beauty and not wish she looked any different. Or feel she needs to look any different.
I remember growing up I always wanted straight hair, piercing blue eyes and clearer skin. I never felt pretty enough for anyone, thinking if only I was a little more something, I’d be much happier. Much more liked. This was all during a time when social media wasn’t thrusted into our faces and we compared ourselves more to our peers, rather than everyone with a twitter account. So it must be much harder now to make our children feel confident and secure in themselves. But it’s something I want my daughter to feel.
I want my son to feel it too, of course, but if he’s anything like his dad he will be more focused on being the best at everything rather than looking the best. Competition runs strong in our genes.
My daughter is beautiful, I know, that’s what all mums say about their children. But that’s because they are all beautiful in their own cute way. She has strong brown eyes, gorgeously soft hair and her dimples are everything.
It makes me sad to think that once she starts school and gets to a certain age she may start comparing herself to others. She may wish desperately for curly hair, green eyes and clear skin (if she suffers like I did with acne). It’s natural to compare, I think we all do it, but to wish you had what someone else has and to feel inadequate is something I want to encourage my little babe not to feel.
Being pretty isn’t just about your looks, it’s about your persona, how you carry yourself and your confidence with who you are. It’s easier for me as her mum to feel this way, being an adult I’ve outgrown those difficult school years, I still feel insecure about a lot of things, but I don’t compare myself to others now. Children can feel this way too, confident. I’ve seen kids love who they are, not in an overbearing way, but in a smart and respectful way.
Women are growing stronger by the day, we’re becoming more respected and are really making paths for ourselves. We’re no longer the lady behind her man, we’re the woman next to her man. This is inspiring and empowering to see so many like myself taking control of their life and loving their confidence, owning who they are. This also leaves the doors open for other to try and tear you down, to find a chink in your armour and pick away at any insecurities.
I can’t control what my daughter sees and hears from others around her, however, I can control what I show her. By this I mean I need to love myself just as much as I love her, she needs to see me embrace my natural beauty and not hear me talk about changing my hair, losing weight, covering the huge invasive spots on my chin. I’m not always happy about this but I’m lucky to have what I have. I make those boil sized spots a little like a beauty spot, there’s no fooling anyone as to what it is, but I wear them proud. I also let my natural hair fall everyday, it’s easier for me to leave my hair as it is anyway, in the hopes she doesn’t see me fussing and faffing over making my hair look any different than its natural self.
Seeing my sons beautiful curls when he was younger really made me realise how gorgeous all hair types are and how lucky I am to have curls just like my boy. My daughter has fairly straight hair which is and will be so gorgeous as it grows. I kick myself everyday for chopping my sons cute curls.
I am fully for self-care, using cleansers, makeup products and hair-care to accentuate what you already have. If it’s there I think we should make the most of it! Enhance what we have, but don’t change what we have, right?
It’s upsetting when I hear five year old girls saying they hate their hair, they wish it was straight or curly. They’re such small little dots and I want all children to love themselves, or not even give appearance a second thought.
So I pray that I can raise a confident (sassy) young girl, I hope she never feels a pressure to look a certain way and I hope she always feels like she’s better than good enough (but not entitled). Because she is, she’s beautiful.
Happy girls, are pretty girls.
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