Toddler Accidents Happen In Threes

Last week Mr Firstooth told me he had a job Sunday morning, seems like he’s always working doesn’t it, but someone has to earn the Dollar. Or Pound really, we’re not American. After that hilarious phonecall (note he called, giving me time to process before he gets home) I called Granny Firstooth to see what they were up to on Sunday. Turns out they were going to IKEA. I love Ikea, Ikea to me is like Legoland to my kids, we get to the checkouts and I’m all ‘just once more, let me see the shop once more’.

So, what would have been an ambient trip around Ikea for my parents turned into a day out with their daughter and grandchildren. The lucky devils.

They were visiting with a purpose to get new furniture and I came up with a purpose (because you just have to buy something in Ikea, it’s practically the Swedish law) to buy our big toddler a bed.

I was told you could buy a bed for £30, that was a lie. The cheapest was £40.

Anyway, we’ve never taken our toddler terrorists to Ikea before because Mr Firstooth always thinks they’ll ‘kick off’, as he puts it. He’s right, if we were there to have a real browse and to furnish our home with new bric-a-brac, the kids would sort of, get in the way. How boring would that be for them. But this trip didn’t really have that rushed feeling of finding what we need and browsing, to find a vase the right shade of grey or to search for all the gadgets you see on these Ikea Hacks posts.

Instead, we knew what we were looking for and all in there were only 4 things between us to purchase. So taking the littles babes actually seemed like a good idea. ‘Don’t do it’, my friend said but I convinced her that they’d enjoy it.

And, they did enjoy it.

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We spent time with them testing the sofas, looking around all the displays, opening drawers, spinning on chairs and collecting random bits around the store. They found many odd things throughout our visit and we let them throw it in the trolley to keep them occupied, ‘ah, we’ll deal with it at the checkouts’ I thought, saves a heavy debate as to why we’re not keeping these bits of stuff, with a non-negotiable toddler.

We were in the bedroom furniture section when my boy started his Wee Wee Dance. I could write forever about the amount of times we went back and forth to the toilets so he could empty his dancing bladder, but he’s snobby, like his mummy and doesn’t like to use public toilets. He actually has a fear of them, it’s the hand-dryer, it frightens him when it’s used and he relates all public toilets to that.

He was adamant he wasn’t going to wee, so we carried on where we left, in the bedroom furniture department.

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Rearranging/trashing the place

My girl baby beast asked for some ‘doose’ (juice), so I whipped her bottle out and she immediately turned into a water fountain. Filling her mouth with Doose and dribbling it down herself, until she looked like I’d dipped her in a filled sink fully-clothed. It was hysterical. (Until she realized later, that she was wet.)

Mr Firstooth arrived after his job, to meet us in the kids section. We browsed the beds and after his early start, he really wasn’t interested. So I discussed with Granny Firstooth to decide on a bed. Just as I put pencil to paper I see dripping coming from my sons legs as his dad holds him.

“He’s peeing”

“Well, I can see that”

I had no idea what to do. I had nothing to clean the puddle of piss on the floor, no spare clothes whatsoever and we were only half way through the Ikea labyrinth. We placed his drippy bum in the trolley with a handful of ‘deal with it later’ toys and carried on.

There was accident 1.

The following accidents happened in Pizza Hut. We originally opted for TGI Fridays for dinner but there was a half hour wait for a table. Arrive at Pizza Hut, another half hour wait for a table. FML.

The wait was because there weren’t any highchairs available, odd seeing as there weren’t many people in the restaurant, but whatever we went with it. We saw a booth available and agreed the kids would be fine to sit with us on the seat in the booth. Our eldest no longer uses a highchair but our small one does, she’s literally everywhere and if she’s not strapped in, awful things will happen.

And awful things did happen. She slipped on the seat and bashed her head against the table edge. I took her outside to help calm her down and inside I was forcing myself to not cry. This was completely our fault as parents, we should have waited for a highchair instead of trusting that she’d sit still. Of course she wouldn’t sit still, she’s less likely to do this in a restaurant than she is at home.

After an extremely tight cuddle I lifted her head out from my shoulder to see if there was any damage and a huge lump with a small cut was staring at me. I dashed inside to ask a member of staff for an ice-pack, which she hated. Suddenly a highchair appeared, funny that.

When she sat in the highchair he demeanor changed and she calmed down, she knew food was on it’s way. Of course once the food arrived it was like nothing had happened, she laughed, danced and ate hers and everyone elses food. I couldn’t stop staring at her poor forehead, for me the meal was over as soon as that happened and I shut down, I didn’t feel much like table talk. My focus was her.

There’s accident 2, and soon follows accident 3.

It was time for the Ice Cream Factory in the Hut. We loaded his bowl with the smooth cream stuff and let him dig in. Granny Firstooth started to feed him and he choked, maybe on the coldness? I’m not sure. He was seriously choking, we smacked him on the back and up came his entire ice-cream. With myself and his dad absolutely covered in sick, we called for the bill.

I really don’t know what made him choke but the relief when I heard him take a breath was overwhelming. I couldn’t take another moment of the day and just needed to get my little babes in the car so I can closely monitor them in the rear-view. Knowing they’re safe and strapped in. No tables, no ice-cream. And I expelled a huge cry which built up throughout the meal.

I might have cried a little because I had an odour of Parmesan cheese thanks to my sick-drenched couture. Which I couldn’t escape because I couldn’t open the windows. But luckily they slept through it all.

We at least got the small mans’ bed up that evening and he absolutely loves it!

So does his sister. He hates that she even looks at it. “Dats my bed”.


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58 Comments

  1. April 20, 2016 / 6:13 am

    Oh no what a day! Dats my bed haha! Hope littlies head is ok! Xx #bestandworst

  2. April 20, 2016 / 12:24 pm

    I’m sorry you had to experience so much misfortune in such a short time! Poor work by Pizza Hut to not get a high chair sorted beforehand!

    We had a similar experience a year or so ago when we took our cubs to the shopping centre. I gave him a feed and burped him only to get coated in the contents of the bottle and his stomach. I had to squelch into Primark and buy a new outfit…

    #BestAndWorst

  3. April 20, 2016 / 1:26 pm

    What a disastrous day. We had one of those on Sunday, if its any consolation. I hope you’ve all recovered from your ordeal. X

  4. April 20, 2016 / 1:27 pm

    Oh gosh what an absolute nightmare, poor you and poor little head x

  5. April 20, 2016 / 1:38 pm

    Oh God, what a day! I’m not surprised you had a little cry after all that! I would have as well.

  6. April 20, 2016 / 1:41 pm

    What a trip! My little boy has managed to keep his mischief to nursery today, falling over and cutting his ear, how he’s managed to get his ear I don’t know! I really hope that I can avoid accidents 2 & 3. Hope everyone is all OK now. #BloggerClubUK

  7. April 20, 2016 / 2:49 pm

    Oh, poor you! Poor kids! What a disastrous trip! I’m with you though – I flipping love Ikea! It’s like heaven for me! We’ve not been for ages as well (is it wrong that even after reading your post I’m thinking ‘Ooh, I really fancy a trip to Ikea’?!) #BloggerclubUK

  8. April 21, 2016 / 6:45 am

    Oh no, what a nightmare. I am in the middle of potty training here and feel your pain and there is nothing worse than when your child chokes

  9. April 21, 2016 / 9:09 am

    My mummy loves IKEA too! She’s like a kid in a sweet shop! We wrote a post on IKEA recently too…but nothing like this! Sounds like you had an in.ter.resting time 😉 you handled the puddle of piss very well! xx #BloggerClubUK xx

  10. April 21, 2016 / 11:34 am

    I’m really sorry to hear this. Hope everything is ok now

  11. April 21, 2016 / 12:01 pm

    We mums ALWAYS assume that the next outing/meal at restaurant will be stress-free/peaceful/enjoyable. But our lil munchkins/monsters always prove us wrong. Yet we persist:)
    That was a bad bad day…but glad it’s over and at least the new bed is up and a hit!!!
    PS: I love IKEA too…though prefer to stroll around without having to see what my toddler’s up to next!!!
    Thanks for sharing.
    #coolmumclub

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 9:05 pm

      Yes definitely minus toddlers is much more relaxing! In both cases, Ikea and restaurant. We forget previous meals out when one toddler joins another family for dinner while the other one dances on the table ad we sit with our heads in our hands. We’re optimistic like that, next time will always be better! Xx

  12. April 21, 2016 / 1:31 pm

    You’ve really been through the wars!! I’ve never heard of a toddler choking on ice-cream…terrifying! But great shout though on IKEA – total kid’s playground! But I’ll make sure I know the quickest route to any loos next time I go! #FamilyFun

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 9:03 pm

      I didn’t know it was possible, I imagine the spoon was full or maybe a choc button was hiding in there, I still have no idea but if anything we’ve at least learnt to be more careful. Or take a potty with you, or maybe use the display toilets??

  13. April 21, 2016 / 2:32 pm

    Oh no!!! You poor thing, these things always happens in 3’s don’t they! Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst and hope that your next day out is more successful 🙂

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 9:01 pm

      Thank you! We’ve had great days out since but unfortunately nobody else has been there to enjoy it. They’re still scarred from Sunday eek! Thanks for hosting x

  14. April 21, 2016 / 4:25 pm

    Oh honey I feel your pain so, so much in this post! My little pickles are just the same. Katie needs to be restrained still and she is 3. School runs are so much fun. IKEA looks like fun until you realise you have to go with the crowds (I’ve tried going backwards, it doesn’t work and you always end up at the sofa section). Hope your next trip out is better! #brillblogposts Lizzie xo

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 9:00 pm

      The crowds definitely make it more challenging and sweaty. I think next time we take the kids will be when we don’t mind ambling through and treat it like their adventure instead of our shopping trip. They certainly enjoyed most of it, until both were sodden with pee or juice x

  15. April 21, 2016 / 7:04 pm

    For sure, when things go downhill, they have to go really downhill, don’t they? It is good you had help through all the misfortunes and the best thing is that the toddler is sorted with his big bed :-).

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 8:57 pm

      That bed will always be a reminder to ask for a highchair in every restaurant, make sure my son pees before we go into IKEA and to never let him eat ice cream again x

  16. April 21, 2016 / 7:06 pm

    Oh my goodness, what a day. I am not surprised you cried after all of that, one accident is traumatic enough never mind 3. Thank god they were both OK! TY for linking up to #FamilyFun

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 8:56 pm

      It was a relief to let it out. Thanks for hosting! X

  17. Kristen
    April 21, 2016 / 7:11 pm

    I’m so sorry that you had such a dreadful day! I’m glad you guys got the bed and that littlies head is ok! I feel like this is so true. Bad things (especially with toddlers) come in three’s. Thanks for sharing! #Familyfun

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 8:55 pm

      Let’s hope they’re in for some good luck after those nasty accidents! X

  18. April 21, 2016 / 7:50 pm

    Oh no way – I was chuckling at first – but not by the time I read about the bump – then the choking. Pickle used to gag and choke on virtually everything and gave me several near heart attacks. Not funny 🙁 Glad the bed was a hit! Kaz x

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 8:54 pm

      I’m just pleased my little babes were ok, we make light of the ffs moments and laugh about it later but choking and bumping heads was scary at the time and nerve wracking overnight, you know how us mums worry. This kids make our hearts stop! X

  19. April 21, 2016 / 8:39 pm

    Oh no! I bet you are glad to get home – but at least you’re due a run of good luck now, right? Pretty sure that’s how it works. x

    • firstooth
      April 21, 2016 / 8:51 pm

      Let’s hope good things come in threes x

  20. April 22, 2016 / 5:29 am

    Ha ha, I love the ending – makes all the incidents almost worthwhile!

    I am a huge fan of IKEA. The tip from me is make it a girls day out, or a date night…I go once a year with my sister in law and we have been known to spend 8 hours in there, having had lunch and spent a small fortune while the kids are happy at home with happy Daddies (who don’t love IKEA or shopping quite so much) everyones a winner!

    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

    • firstooth
      April 22, 2016 / 6:31 am

      That’s a great idea! I don’t have a sister to visit with and quite like taking my man , who only loves ikea at the beginning. After a while he just wants to leave the shop and probably me sometimes! Thanks for hosting x

  21. April 22, 2016 / 9:25 am

    Ah the family trip to Ikea – always seems like it will be ok and starts off well but eventually degrades into utter chaos (usually culminating in me and Mr Pudding having a flaming row trying to build said furniture once home) Hope little ladies head was ok and that you felt better after having a little cry (I would have cried too these kind of days ruin me as a parent). #brillblogposts

  22. April 22, 2016 / 1:26 pm

    Oh no, things certainly do happen in 3s and it looks like you definitely had your fair share there.

  23. April 22, 2016 / 8:27 pm

    wow,brave mamma! I have never done Ikea with my little girl as she it a nut bag and literally destroy the shop!! thanks for sharing and hope everyone is recovering well from pizza falls and ice cream choking,scary stuff. #Coolmumclub

    • firstooth
      April 23, 2016 / 9:35 pm

      They’re recovering nicely, poor things. After that visit we will tread carefully when planning the next ikea trip! X

  24. April 23, 2016 / 6:58 am

    Aww poor you. Some days we just need a little cry and thats ok.

  25. April 23, 2016 / 2:43 pm

    Awwww I remember those fun days 😉 So pleased you got his bed sorted :O)

    • firstooth
      April 23, 2016 / 9:33 pm

      It’s such a cute little bed

  26. April 23, 2016 / 9:46 pm

    Accident happen and I guess that they are alway worse for the parent than the kid. THey always bounce back. I bet your parents are alway excited to have you come tag along on trips with them? Sounds like live wires! #KCACOLS

  27. April 23, 2016 / 10:31 pm

    My little girl once wet herself in the middle of an arcade. here was a massive puddle in the middle of the floor, and the manager didn’t look too impressed when we asked if he had a mop #KCACOLS

  28. April 23, 2016 / 11:04 pm

    Oh some days are just so scary, chocking is a huge fear of mine, glad it was nothing serious, just a little messy and well done on the big bed. #KCACOLS.

  29. April 24, 2016 / 8:40 am

    Ah what a day! Sometimes it just goes like that doesn’t it. Maybe in a week or two you can laugh about it?! I was once covered in projectile vomit in Starbucks. It went all over my jeans and INTO my boots and it was winter and the car was at the other end of town so I was totally freezing walking back (like a cowboy) to the car. Glad you got the bed though, at least you accomplished that! Thanks for sharing on #BestAndWorst xx

  30. April 24, 2016 / 11:04 am

    Oh dear! What a terrible day! Hopefully days like this are rare. Thanks for sharing #KCACOLS

  31. April 24, 2016 / 3:28 pm

    Sounds like an absolute nightmare! Toddler are magnets for accidents though. #KCACOLS

  32. April 24, 2016 / 7:48 pm

    lol ya kick off in Ikea puts it mildly really doesn’t it? These incidents always happen when there’s no change or clothes or help at hand! It’s so hard – being vomited on, trying to stop them banging their heads & so on. I’d be emotional after all that at the restaurant too! Thanks so much for joining us at #bloggerclubuk x

  33. April 24, 2016 / 9:59 pm

    Oh no! What a horrible day you had bet you glad when it was all over. You are right about things coming in threes though it’s always the way isn’t it!
    Thanks so much for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you come back again next Sunday

  34. April 25, 2016 / 9:51 am

    You are brave to face the Ikea ‘labyrinth’ I took my little boy and his game was to run off at speed…I nearly had an emotional breakdown when I couldnt find him at one point..he was three feet away under a bed giggling. Least you got the bed and little ones do bump themselves, you were trying to get her fed faster! I hate mummy guilt. Lovely post, not sure weather to laught or cry for you #KCACOLS

  35. Mommy's Little Princesses
    April 25, 2016 / 11:16 am

    Oh goodness me what a day you all had. I hope the bump and cut are all healed up now. It sounds like your little boy is really happy with his new bed. Xx #KCACOLS

  36. April 25, 2016 / 12:27 pm

    Ohh what a day! I can relate though! Bless

  37. Allyson Greene
    April 25, 2016 / 5:08 pm

    What a rough day! The ending was the best, of course she loves the bed, and of course he hates that she does! Love it! #KCACOLS

  38. April 26, 2016 / 5:47 pm

    I’m exhausted after chasing my 12-month-old around all day-I cannot imagine having another one!! Sounds like quite a busy day, and I’m sooo happy your little man enjoyed his new bed! My son is quite the daredevil, and must be strapped into everything as well! I hope her little head healed right up! Maybe your next trip will be better! (: x #KCACOLS

  39. April 28, 2016 / 5:47 am

    Oh what a day!!!!! Glad he loves his bed though and what a heart stopping moment with the ice cream. Xxx

  40. May 2, 2016 / 8:10 pm

    Oh no! That doesn’t sound good, hope that you have a better trip to Ikea next time! I always feel so guilty when these things happen, but accidents happen! X

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