Was That The Baby Monitor? What Goes Through Your Mind

I have a love/hate relationship with our baby monitors. I love that I can hear their little snores and breaths (also that I can yell at them from our end – really freaks them out). I hate that it
 alerts me when our children are waking up, either waking me up or reminding me that I’ve not even slept yet. I’m just laying there, like a fool.

My thought process:

Was that the baby monitor? It can’t be. It’s the neighbours. I know, it’s 1am but maybe they worked late or went for drinks, whatever, it’s the neighbours.

Where is the monitor? Did I leave it downstairs? Why’ve I left it in the bathroom? Why so many questions at 1am? I wonder where next door went tonight?

They can’t have been working because they work during the day and only in term-time. I know this because I’m a stay at home mum.

Don’t judge me, I know you keep a close eye on your neighbours too. How else would you know Fred next door is a cross-dresser? He’s Fred to you, but indoors he’s Angelina.

I hear that noise on the monitor again, it sounds a bit whiney this time. Maybe the neighbours door needs a squirt WD40 on the hinges, that’ll stop the squeaking. Come on guys, we’ve got babies that need sleep and parents that haven’t slept in years.

It’s stopped, now I just need to roll over violently so he stops snoring.

That sounds like a baby crying this time. Maybe there’s a fox outside the babys’ window, they make crying sounds don’t they? Or is it the sound of a woman screaming? Who cares, it can’t be our baby, we’ve literally just settled her back to sleep.

Oh bollocks it is our baby. Maybe if I pretend I’m asleep he’ll go to her.

He’s not going to her, he’s such an asshole. I’m turning every single light on in the bedroom, to remind him that I’m awake, the baby’s awake, but he’s asleep… Or was asleep.

Wait, is that, silence?

I can’t hear the crying anymore, she must have ‘self-settled’ all those self-settling lessons we’ve been having must be paying off.

Nope.

Battery’s gone flat in the monitor. Does it still count if she’s crying but I can’t hear her?

Ffs, it does doesn’t it.

I’ll just pop the monitor on charge, lay it on his pillow and yank up the volume.

”Baby’s crying”

”Oh, is she? I thought it was next door” (*eye roll)

Now we’re at a stand off. Laying rigid, watching the volume lights fill our room with a blue tint.
image
This isn’t the monitor in question. This is the other monitor that wakes once, maybe twice a week. Sometimes this monitor is ignored when it wakes up and sometimes it sleeps in our bed. This monitor was easily photographed, while the other was too tired to keep its light on.

I never blame the baby for being awake. I blame the monitor (That’s a lie, the baby needs to take some responsibility in this). When that monitor wakes up and starts flashing it means I have to drag myself out of bed, elbow him in the ribs on the way out, feed the baby milk and know that the monitor will wake up again in a few hours and possibly not even go back to sleep. Marvellous.

Yawn

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26 Comments

  1. January 13, 2016 / 8:21 am

    Ha ha very funny! Mine are older now but I remember those days well! Before long you’ll be laying in bed waiting to hear them come in at night!! Thanks for making me smile though!! #bestandworst

  2. January 13, 2016 / 9:49 am

    Haha this exactly me! I go through denial then acceptance of the monitor going off and then hate- for my OH still lying there in a peaceful slumber! x

  3. January 14, 2016 / 8:46 am

    Haha, I remember this! We had a plug in one and sometimes I used to plug it in on the hubby’s side of the bed and turn the volume up. When it woke him up he would still wake me up to tell me baby was crying. .ahh. I dint miss those days.xx p.s Fred=Angelina made me choke on my tea laughing haha #coolmumclub

  4. January 14, 2016 / 9:03 am

    Ahhh the dreaded monitor, with our 1st I was constantly glued to our monitor, I literally took it everywhere with me, now I am a bit more relaxed and have the monitor by the bed but tend to leave it up there most of the day and evening! Great post and thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst

  5. January 14, 2016 / 9:35 am

    Ha ha the damn baby monitor. We ditched ours pretty early on as we figured we’d hear the baby crying next door (alas we do not live in a mansion), and the damn thing seemed to keep everyone more awake! (coughs, grunts, rustles etc etc).
    Thanks for linking up with #coolmumclub hiney!

  6. January 14, 2016 / 1:33 pm

    I wish I’d let it go earlier, waking up for every cough or murmur was such a chore. Now i get up when he’s shouting, singing or screaming bloody murder and that’s good enough for me #coolmumclub

  7. January 14, 2016 / 11:47 pm

    Funny post! I also have a love-hate relationship with the monitor. Our baby always woke up screaming so we hardly needed it and now he’s a toddler he’s quite happy amusing himself for quite some time before he’s ready to get up so we still hardly need it. But I’m too attached to it to do without it!

  8. January 15, 2016 / 8:12 am

    I feel tired just thinking about it. Nice read.

  9. January 15, 2016 / 9:41 am

    Oh don’t get me started on this baby monitor – we have one with the pad and it turned me into a nervous wreak #FridayFrolics

  10. January 15, 2016 / 10:38 am

    Hahaha! Very funny. My folks always question our baby monitor…especially when I start talking in my sleep…it creeps them out! #TheList xx

  11. January 15, 2016 / 10:43 am

    lol oh it’s not easy is it?! I had to laugh at the husband sleeping through it all, mine is the same way. I’d be up listening to every sound. Our youngest is coming 3 so the baby monitor days are over! x

  12. January 15, 2016 / 10:44 am

    Ah I’ve spent many a night pleading with the monitor to let me get some sleep! Great post. Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:10 pm

      Thank you! Yes, me too! Sleep stealing thing

  13. January 15, 2016 / 11:46 am

    I can relate to the game of chicken played when it goes off at night! I lose 🙁

    It always picks up traffic and fireworks too and there is that sharp intake of breath to see if that’s enough to wake them up.

    #TheList

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:10 pm

      Fireworks are a parents worst nightmare for noise aren’t they

  14. Nat Halfpenny
    January 15, 2016 / 2:41 pm

    Hahaha we have the monitor downstairs before I go to bed, its on the blink so sometimes the lights flash with no noise. I always try to convince myself its not the baby but it usually is! #fridayfrolics

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:09 pm

      Love it!

  15. January 15, 2016 / 10:23 pm

    Haha that’s so true 🙂 We have that monitor in your picture, and last night I heard a floorboard creek in the middle of the night! Baby was definitely asleep, but I then definitely wasn’t.. I was so freaked out. We have only forgotten ours once, but I must say now we’ve turned the clicking sound off (so it’s just he light flashing for the pad), I sleep so much sounder… probably though some of baby’s cries. oh well she’d cry properly if she needed us! Thanks for sharing #thelist

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:05 pm

      Omg you’ve freaked me out too! lets hope it was your heating or something… The sound is really clear on that monitor isn’t it so I have to turn it down otherwise every shuffle makes my heart stop!

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:06 pm

      It makes me laugh when I hear them giggling, especially when they’re asleep x

  16. Emma
    January 17, 2016 / 12:31 am

    This is hilarious! I hope you get a decent sleep tonight and the baby monitor doesn’t wake up too much!

    • firstooth
      January 17, 2016 / 11:43 am

      Thank you! It woke often again, definitely not the neighbours because it was shouting ‘mummy’. Just sipping tea now to recover

  17. itsgoodtobecrazysometimes
    January 19, 2016 / 5:13 pm

    I will never forget the time when we discovered our son could get out of his cot, its when we heard him with his mouth against the baby monitor going hello mama

    • firstooth
      January 20, 2016 / 11:45 am

      This really made me laugh!!

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