It’s Important to Remember the Great day we were Having

One of my New Years Resolutions was to take the children out more often, create memories of our great day, even if it is just the three of us during the day. I had my first attempt at achieving this by visiting our nearby castle and to begin with, it was great. Trying to leave the house made me say ‘fine we’ll stay home’, in a half shouty, half huffy voice a dozen times. Even while putting their shoes on, the threat to not go still cropped up, although it became less believable by this time. But once we arrived everyone was happy.

The toddler was excited to see the geese, ducks and swans and threw his sandwich, my sandwich and his sisters sandwich to them, creating an ‘attack of the birds’ scenario. I don’t think he realised the feeding frenzy he caused ”look mummy birds eating”, I made a mental note not to let the toddler hold the sandwiches again, as I charged the stroller through trying not to get bitten by the bastard things. And there went our lunch, a pack of cheddars and an apple between the three of us it was then.

As we were wandering the grounds of the castle I kept thinking ‘wow they’re so well behaved’, the toddler was walking and talking, the baby was chilled in her stroller and nobody was whingeing. I lived in that moment, to feel like I had this parenting thing down, ‘oh, your baby is crying? Mine isn’t’. For once I could own the moment and be the smarmy mum, holding hands with my toddler, pushing the stroller, smiling, laughing and really enjoying our time together. It felt so stress-free.
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Little did I know about two hours later I’d be crying.

Stupid smarmy mummy.

When we visited the castle park, we carried on making these sickly sweet memories. Both swings were free, which suits my children perfectly and they swung, for what felt like forever. We sang nursery rhymes and played games in the park, it really was so lovely. I remember thinking how happy they looked and how happy I felt, was it really this easy to entertain the children?

It was all going so well until Mr Firstooth called. Actually his phonecall had nothing to do with the downward spiral of the babys temper, it was just coincidentally from that moment. So, we can agree, it was all his fault.

The toddler wanted an ice cream.

Ice-cream shop was closed. Of course it was.

I managed to divert his whining from the ice-cream shop, that had closed for winter (I understand why, but try explaining it to a toddler who REALLY WANTS SOME ICE-CREAM). We saw an owl being trained for the shows and the toddler was absolutely fascinated.

But the baby couldn’t care less.

The second my bum touched the seat to enjoy watching the owl, the baby wriggled, grunted and squealed. That’s code for ‘get me out or get me moving’.

Please, kids, we were having such a great day.

I had promised the toddler we would stop off in the cafe for tea and cake because they were being such little angels (this was promised as we left the park, because we were leaving the park), this stop was looking increasingly impossible with an extremely unhappy baby. My child was suddenly the child everyone can hear and turns to look at.

The idea of stopping for tea and cake was now swept under the rug, along with any ideas that our great day would end just as perfectly as it started.

Shit started to get real.

Baby wanted to be carried, no problem, I can hold a toddlers hand, carry a baby and push the stroller. No. I can’t do that.

I needed to persuade the toddler to be strapped in to the stroller, cue a shameful amount of biscuit bribery before he obliged.

Baby still crying in my arms I realise she wants to walk. She wants to do what her brother has been doing all day while she’s been strapped tightly in the stroller, plied with cheddars. Other than the swing, she’s not been free from her stroller and hasn’t stretched her legs.

I understand her frustration but the logistics of having two tiny children running around a castle with ditches, ponds, lakes, streams and deathly sharp walls, just isn’t well, logistical. Anyone that’s had a 1 year old (or 14 month old) knows they don’t walk where you want them to, they won’t hold your hand, they want to run with legs that go too fast for their body and they want to touch EVERYTHING. Add that to a 2 year old doing similar, it’s just not something I could risk without the safety of a second pair of eyes and hands.

But, the toddler agreed to sit in the stroller. Now there wasn’t a reason she couldn’t walk. Except, she wouldn’t wear her shoes. Part of me thought ‘fine, as you wish’, but the mum side of me overruled and told me to stop being such a ratty, impatient asshole and power through putting her shoes on.

Then there it was, pure joy in my daughters face as she walked everywhere and she held my hand. She held my hand so tightly and walked with me, instead of away from me. We looked like the happy family we were, when we arrived.

Until she didn’t want to hold my hand or walk with me. Fantastic.

I couldn’t hold her or convince her to come with me, the overwhelming feeling of being a failure crept up, who can’t control her baby or make her happy. I stood there holding a screaming baby desperate to break free from my arms and I sobbed. Wanting to just abandon ranks and walk off into an area of pure silence.

I held her tightly as we walked towards the exit of the castle and the closer we got to the car, the more I kept thinking how unreasonable I was being, whereas before I blamed her for not cooperating. We were having a great day, it was only when we were leaving that the tears and tantrums started. Up until then we were the vision of the ideal family enjoying a day out, with two exceptionally behaved children. That’s forgotten all too quickly when we try to negotiate calm with a small child that’s past the point of caring what calm even is.

If I had a rational mind I’d think that this was all down to tiredness, theirs and mine. We were having a great day. However, in the moment I’m irrational. That’s ok I think, I’m one of life’s over-reactors. I let the small things niggle at me inside until spilt milk tips me over the edge and I’ll cry about it.

Although I haven’t forgotten how difficult it was on the journey back to the car, I will always remember how much fun we had until then. That’s the funny thing about memories, we forget the stressful events, and remember the more important, happy moments.
Great day

We had a great day kids, next time I’ll make sure nobody’s tired (or I’ll wear trainers so we can run like the wind back to the car).


 

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31 Comments

  1. January 9, 2016 / 10:52 am

    This is like my day EVERY time I go out with both of mine! Love it 🙂

  2. January 9, 2016 / 3:04 pm

    Oh bless!
    If only the little ones could play by our rules haha instead they’re full of their own agendas about where to go and it’s obviously the opposite of what they’re supposed to do. I’m glad you can still remember the happy bits of your day

    • firstooth
      January 11, 2016 / 9:39 pm

      She treated me to tons of kisses and cuddles that evening as if she was saying ‘tantrum? what tantrum?’. They know how to play us for sure 😉

  3. An imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum)
    January 9, 2016 / 4:10 pm

    You forget how chaotic and hard it can be with 2 young ones. You are right we do tend to remember only the good moments. Nothing is ever picture perfect!

    • firstooth
      January 11, 2016 / 9:38 pm

      There’s always moments that aren’t worthy of posting on Facebook, but when I look back on them all they fill me with so much laughter, even if I cried at the time

  4. New Mummy Blog
    January 9, 2016 / 7:50 pm

    Glad you had such a lovely day and can remember all the good points. There is always a moment with little ones, everyone has them but that’s not the whole day 🙂 #justanotherlinky

  5. January 10, 2016 / 4:12 am

    One of the things I love about kids – at least when it’s not happening to me – is how quickly everything changes. It takes ten seconds to go from brilliant to the worst thing ever. Then a few minutes / nap / jaffa cake later it’s all brilliant again. I wish it worked like that for me! 🙂 #KCACOLS

    • firstooth
      January 11, 2016 / 9:35 pm

      They didn’t get the memo to ‘start as you mean to go on’ I thought if they started out like angels, they’d continue to be angels. The terror in them has to esape at some point haha! x

  6. January 10, 2016 / 10:42 am

    I love this post, it’s so true – things go from great to oh-holy-crap-this-is-bad in seconds with kids! #KCACOLS

    • firstooth
      January 11, 2016 / 9:33 pm

      So unpredictable these little beings! 😉 x

  7. January 10, 2016 / 7:25 pm

    Oh dear! It is funny how quickly things can change. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

  8. Nige
    January 10, 2016 / 8:13 pm

    Kids have an habit changing things so quickly great post all true thanks for linking to the Binkylinky

  9. January 11, 2016 / 12:05 pm

    This sounds like most of my days out with the kids. I can’t remember the last time we had a tantrum free day, but you do just have to power through as there’s always a happy memory to take away from every trip. I’m really hoping/kidding myself that things get better once both of my girls are through the toddler years 😉 #KCACOLS

    • firstooth
      January 11, 2016 / 9:27 pm

      Tantrums can be looked back on at the end of the day and make us realise that we really deserve some cake and hours of Netflix. Power through is all we know how to do 🙂

  10. January 12, 2016 / 12:12 am

    Photos and blogs are great for capturing the good bits but we all have the bits we leave out, who want’s to remember the tempers and tantrums, it is the happiness you want to capture. #sharethejoy

  11. January 12, 2016 / 11:51 am

    Oh my I’ve been there and done that too! When I get days like this I TRY to remember my Mother’s wise mantra “this too shall pass”. So hard when you’re in the thick of things and all hell is breaking loose (and you’re catching the stares of all the onlookers who’re tutting and shaking their heads) but at the end of the day tomorrow is another day and in a few years time I agree we WILL remember just the happy bits x Thanks so much for linking up at #sharethejoy

  12. January 12, 2016 / 10:26 pm

    I’m there with you all the way!! I feel that you have described a day of my life!! LOL I guess we are all in the same boat!! Sienna that is now 17 months old is super hyper and if I don’t have her in the pushchair or sling she is just so difficult to follow. Now the only different that I have is that Bella is older than your son so at least I don’t have 2 little ones but she is also very difficult so I always think twice before I plan a day out with both of them on my own. Although at the moment we are walking to school the 3 of us which is a change for this year. I stopped using the car and I feel that the girls enjoy that trip! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

  13. January 13, 2016 / 9:54 am

    Yep that’s kiddies. Usually I cut our losses earlier than you did. We’re happy to leave after a few minutes of trying if it ain’t working. We can try another day. Glad you remember the good bits in #whatevertheweather

  14. January 13, 2016 / 1:29 pm

    It does sound exhausting, but remembering the joy and the looks on their faces will I’m sure make it all worthwhile. And don’t forget the trainers 🙂 #sharethejoy

  15. January 13, 2016 / 2:31 pm

    Children are so unpredictable, but it does sound like you had a great time for most of it. I do remember how hard it is with multiple small children (I had twins and a toddler only 2 yrs apart), but somehow you cope and find ways through, then look back and remember the good times. x

  16. January 15, 2016 / 5:18 pm

    It is so easy to feel like a day has been rubbish when in fact there is always something good there. Thank you for sharing in #HappyDaysLinky x

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:09 pm

      It’s a bit of a bummer when the day ends that way because that’s your last memory of it, but it doesn’t ruin the day x

  17. January 15, 2016 / 8:10 pm

    This sounds like everyday we have out but I’m very good at forgetting the bad stuff and remembering the good, Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    • firstooth
      January 15, 2016 / 11:06 pm

      It’s a mum thing, otherwise we’d be too nervous to take them anywhere xx

  18. January 17, 2016 / 9:39 pm

    This sounds like every day out for us, although how you manage it with two I have no idea. You literally need to wear a crown, everyday of your life. I think I end up crying or having a meltdown on every day out (don’t let my blog fool you). Evie has many meltdowns and tantrums on all of our days out. But we do get lots of those ‘look at me, I’ve got this parenting shit down’ moments too thankfully. I’m so glad you had so many lovely moments to make up for the poopy ones. It’s such a lovely feeling when they co-operate and hold your hand and you can relax and have fun together isn’t it? (Probably so lovely because those moments are so rare haha). I must admit we do lots of biscuit bribery too. Only the new thing for us is no longer ice-cream shops, it’s babychinos. Who ever made the mistake of introducing babychinos to Evie (ummm…yes that was me) is very stupid. Anything for a peaceful moment turns into something they need to do everytime haha. Thank you so much for linking your adventure to #whatevertheweather xx

    • firstooth
      January 18, 2016 / 11:07 pm

      I’ve not taken mine in for babychinos yet but I really want to. Should I not??! Lol! Eventhough public outbursts of baby beastiness makes me sweat, I much prefer it to being indoors. Two meltdowns is hard to handle st once, sometimes I join in. Two is lovely though, double the trouble, double the fun xx

  19. January 18, 2016 / 1:22 pm

    Oh, I know how you feel, those good days with the happy family all having fun together, other parents staring at you and wondering how you managed to get it all sorted and then something small gies wrong and things start to spiral. We had a lovely day recently, until the cafe nearby had run out of empire biscuits and my son was distraught. Finally managed to calm him down and choose something else, but I just need to remember that things that are unimportant to us are BIG important things to them. And then the tiredness, it always appears quickly and if I’m tired there’s no patience. Oh well, just remember all the amazing times you have and discount the grumpy times. Hope to read more about your fun days together.
    Thanks so much for linking up to #Whatevertheweather 🙂 x

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