What Would Be The Story To Our Sex Tape

I read an article the other day about a woman wanting to fast track her way to fame by creating a sex tape. Unfortunately this seems to be something that fame seekers believe, that something so private and personal would put you in the limelight. Well, it works a lot of the time, but that’s what they’re known for right? Laying on their back to elevate their fame. Whatever works for them…

Then it got me thinking…

My perfect sex tape would take place in the lounge, as not to wake the children upstairs and down the hall.

I’d have just showered (unrealistic due to the timing but it’s just a dream afterall). We’d snuggle up on the sofa, perhaps with a glass of wine, no, definitely with a glass of wine (or tea in the winter).

Candles would be flickering in the background as Mr Firstooth lands a kiss.

wink wink

Then a baby would wake up. The end.

Just kidding, I’d lay my head in his chest, pick up the remote, and put Made in Chelsea on. We’d ignore eachother for the rest of the evening. It would be amazing. I wouldn’t want to spend my evenings any other way.

That would be the story of our sex tape. You didn’t think there’d really be sex did you? There’s no time for that nonsense! Supposedly were in our ‘prime years’, but let’s be honest, we’re parents now, that’s an instant mood killer. An evening of digging deep into a family bag of Milkybar buttons, watching TV, sipping tea (or wine depending on the day) is much more appealing. Really this is the story of our usual evenings, when all the stars are aligned, all the babes are asleep, and it’s perfect.


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  1. December 1, 2015 / 1:43 pm

    Haha fantastic! Sound similar to what ours would be like except we’d be watching Eastenders rather than Made In Chelsea.

  2. December 4, 2015 / 12:19 pm

    Haha I was like WTF is this going to be?? Hehe. So true. Being busy and knackered is such a passion killer. Have to make an effort on date nights ๐Ÿ™‚ xx #binkylinky

  3. December 4, 2015 / 12:39 pm

    I’m not sure your tape would launch you into instant fame but it would be brilliant if you had a way to watch people’s faces when they watched it and realised there was no sex haha ๐Ÿ™‚ #binkylinky

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:48 pm

      Just up being a pretty boring couple!! X

  4. December 5, 2015 / 11:00 am

    Haha brilliant! Mine would definitely be made in Chelsea and I’d probably go for a chocolate orange! After a takeaway of course! Nothing to get you in the mood more than feeling stuffed and reeking of spare ribs ๐Ÿ˜‰ #justanotherlinky

    • firstooth
      December 6, 2015 / 9:50 pm

      Saying ‘not tonight darling I’m far too full/tired’ xx

  5. December 5, 2015 / 4:59 pm

    Haha. I wasn’t sure what I was going to read when I clicked on this post! I think if my husband and I had a sex tape it would go something like this..except we would be watching The Walking Dead and ignoring each other!xx #justanotherlinky

  6. December 5, 2015 / 9:33 pm

    Oh dear! I wondered what was this going to be about when I saw the title, but it did make me laugh! Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky

  7. Jodie Allen (@beautybabyblog)
    December 7, 2015 / 11:40 am

    haha! I was so curious when I clicked the link… I wondered what I was about to read! But yer… sadly that sounds a lot like what my sex tape would be like too. haha! #binkylinky

  8. December 10, 2015 / 8:25 pm

    Haha love this!! Is parents are so rock & roll. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

  9. December 12, 2015 / 1:14 am

    Thank you for making me perk up as I trawl linkies trying to find something different and funny to read. This definitely got my attention! Sounds like an ideal sex tape. #JustAnotherLinky

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